Surviving Domestic violence

My Story

My story is not unlike that of hundreds and hundreds of women around the world. Unfortunatley, domestic violence is happening every single day, to women of all ages, races, and financial situations. I married at the very young age of seventeen. Of course I thought I knew everything there was to know about love, and that I would never love another more than I loved my husband. My abuse didn't start until after we were married. When it did start, it never stopped until I left. I was physically as well as emotionally abused. Let me tell you, emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. So don't trick yourself into believing that the mental abuse is okay. I won't go into all of the gory details, but I will tell you I was a prisoner in my own home. I was broken down so badly that I believed I could never survive on my own. He controlled my very existance on this earth. I went on to have two children with him. Why would you have children?, you may be asking. Because I believed that once you married someone you should do whatever it takes to make it work. For better or for worse. I wanted so badly to believe that he would change, that I could change him. It took me nearly five years to believe that I could not change him, it was him and only him that could make the changes in his life. That is something every woman must realize, you cannot change them!

How I got out

It was a hell of a fight. Not one thing about it was easy. But having two beautiful boys saved me from the life I believed was my destiny. It is for them that I found the courage I needed to take the first step of living on my own. Without them I truly do not know where I would be today. My love for them made me relize that a life the way mine was lived was no way for them to spend there life. I feared they would grow up to be the exact same way. I feared that the daily fighting would mentally affect them. They did not deserve to life that way. A rage began growing bigger and bigger inside of me. It grew so large that I felt as if I was going to explode. I had to get out, I had to give these boys the life that they rightfully deserved. That is why when my youngest was six weeks old, the three of us left to start our new life.

IT IS NOT EASY

Let me tell you it is not easy being a single mom. In fact, being a parent in general is not easy. But nothing about being a single mom was ever as hard as being abused was. I never once have regretted my decision. My boys are two intelligent, polite, beautiful young boys. It feels incredible knowing that I did the right thing for them. So as hard as it may seem, do not ever for a second believe that you cannot do it. Because YES YOU CAN! The first step is to believe that you deserve better, because you really do. NO ONE, I MEAN NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED IN ANY WAY! Know it, believe it, and live it! You may not have children, but you don't have to have children to need to get out of a bad situation. Please love yourself enough to get out!

ALWAYS REMEMBER!

I know I said it before but I will say it again, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED! Remember that physical abuse is just as bad as the mental abuse. There are women shelters, help lines, and many more ways you can be helped. If you need to be relocated to a different place then please get in touch with your local womens shelters and find out how they can help. When I left I had nothing. No job because I wasn't allowed. I started all over and you can too! It's not easy, but you will find that nothing is more peaceful than having your freedom. So please find that inner strenghth and that love for yourself and get out!